trump

Former president Donald Trump has been found not guilty of incitement of insurrection by the US Senate tonight as the short but historic impeachment trial comes to a close. Following the Capitol Hill riots earlier this year, Democrats in Congress moved quickly to try and impeach Mr Trump before he left office. Their efforts were […]

On January the 6th Trump supporters stormed the capitol building in Washington, incited by President Trump himself. He told his supporters at a rally in DC on the morning of the event: “you’ll never take back our country with weakness. You have to show strength and you have to be strong.’’ This speech was extremely […]

After what has been an incredibly tense, unsettling and suspenseful few days in America, the next president has finally revealed himself. Democrat Joe Biden is projected by most media sources to have won the US election and the 270 Electoral College votes necessary to eclipse Donald Trump, making him President-elect and number 46. Despite lawsuits […]

As promised, we’d be right back with you once we had a clearer picture of what’s actually going on in the US. As for that ‘clearer picture’ – well, there isn’t one, to be honest. All that is clear is exactly what I said in my last article: this election could go on for days […]

Today is the official polling day across the pond in the United States, though millions of postal votes have flooded in over the past three weeks. After four years of President Trump and everything that comes with the tweeter-in-chief, is America about to elect the Democratic antidote? The polls have opponent Joe Biden in the […]

US President Donald Trump is no stranger to controversy. However, his latest Twitter comments have caused a stir among people and politicians alike due to their racist nature. In a three-thread tweet on Sunday, Trump said that four Congresswomen of colour who have been extremely criticial of his administration, should “go back and help fix […]

Long may he rain It’s a new week and its AWIMA. You know what that means. Time to type Trump’s name into Google and see what he’s done this time. The US president has refused to attend a WW1 memorial service amidst poor weather conditions. The weather was described as ‘near-zero visibility’ so Donald opted […]

Mail Aggression So some lunatic’s been sending pipe bombs through the US post. Cesar Sayoc is accused of mailing explosives to prominent Democrats and Trump critics. Honestly, I’m quite offended I didn’t get one. But then, I have switched address quite a lot recently. If there’s a smoking crater in Sandyford in the near future, […]

Mamma Mia, here we go again Theresa May danced onto the stage to give her speech at the Conservative Party Conference. She came out wriggling to ABBA’s Dancing Queen and even warmed up the crowd with a few jokes. In reference to her embarrassing speech last year, she quipped that if she coughed, it would be because […]

Toad in the hole Let’s talk about Stormy Daniels. Now, I could spend this whole section droning on about the lewd descriptions she gave this week about Donald Trump’s genitals… so I’m going to. Apologies for the imagery some of this may bestow in your mind. Frequently repeated is her depiction of Donnie’s penis as […]

Something a little different this week. In honour of St. Patrick’s day occurring roughly four months ago (a tenuous link, I know) I’m going full poet. I’m going to attempt to express each of this week’s mildly amusing stories in the form of the greatest incarnation of literature: the limerick.  An AABBA folk poem structure which […]

*Rubs eyes* I only took a couple of weeks off, I wonder what I missed. *Checks news* Oh Christ. Arbeit Macht cry So Trump was keeping children in camps at the border without their parents. Constant clips of crying younglings, distraught at the removal of their loved ones, shocked the world. The last time a […]

Gnome country for old men Scottish police have appealed to the public after someone stole 37 garden gnomes from a front garden in Angus. Against all odds, this doesn’t even appear to be guerrilla marketing for that Sherlock Gnomes movie that’s, for some reason, coming out. Police describe the kidnapped collectables as the ‘usual gardening […]

According to a tweeted video, discount in the price of Nutella has led to ‘riots’ in French supermarkets. In other news, the definition of the word ‘riot’ has been drastically changed. Move over 2011 Tottenham, there’s some spread on offer. The price dropped from €4.50 to €1.40. Perhaps it’s just me but the use of the […]

Concerns rise internationally over North Korea’s continued nuclear testing. As shown in a recent photo, taken as Kim Jong-un watches a missile launch, the leader looks increasingly like a man in the midst of a nervous breakdown, reflected in the screaming eyes of the hysterical generals around him. Luckily, the North Korean leader’s US counterpart, […]

The Donald Trump administration has issued a brief saying the US Civil Rights Act should not be used to stop employers discriminating against LBGT people. The brief came just hours after the President banned transgender people serving in the armed forces. The 23-page brief claimed that Title VII of the 1964 Act, which bans discrimination […]

A crowd was gathering last night in Newcastle’s city centre. Tables had been erected in front of The Monument, and scattered along its stairs were people in high-vis jackets holding microphones, and others around them who had set up cameras. Cries of “refugees are welcome here” could be heard over the sound of drums, and […]

“The press, honestly, is out of control… I see stories of chaos – chaos – and yet it is the exact opposite… It’s all fake news, It’s all fake news… Russia is fake news… I do get good ratings… that’s how I won, I won with news conferences and probably speeches, I certainly didn’t win […]

The entirety of the Trump administration has resigned, leaving Donald Trump as the first ever President to have to run America absolutely on his own. Trump has said “It’s fine, I’m doing fine. I am absolutely in the best position possible to do this… the news will say I can’t, but I built a business […]

Dear Mr President, I fear, Mr Trump, we have gotten off on the wrong foot. I know I’ve said some terrible things about you in the past, but I would like to take this opportunity to offer my apologies. I was blinded by fake news, and my weak and ignorant female brain was unable to […]

Cathy Heller, 63, claimed publicly last year that Trump held her firmly and kissed her when she met him briefly at a dinner she was attending with her family 20 years ago. She is one of many women who have made similar public allegations, and who has seen the man she claims assaulted her become […]

The days before Donald Trump’s inauguration are trickling away from us with frightening pace. Obama has said his farewell speech and Trump gave his first press conference as president elect. (If you could call it a press conference, it sounded more like an aggressive string of vowels and consonants from a barely sentient life form.) […]

Donald Trump has given his first interview as president-elect, appearing on the CBS programme 60 minutes. Trump spoke on several of his key campaign points and his recent meeting with President Obama, informing interviewer Lesley Stahl that he still intends to build a wall along the Mexican border, although he is now happy for some […]

The shock is wearing off and the reality setting in – Donald Trump has been elected president of the United States. There has been a lot going on over the past few months, so much that Trump’s election seemed impossible, especially after more and more accounts of his vile behaviour came forth, and his lack […]

Tapes have emerged of Donald Trump making misogynistic comments and speaking crudely about his sexual encounters and relationship with his wife Melania. He stated 35 is ‘checkout time’ for women, and engaged in conversation about his daughter’s ‘voluptuous’ breasts. He also managed to combine both sexism and racism in one simple statement, saying “It depends […]

The Republican debate on Tuesday saw Jeb Bush and Donald Trump lock horns, with Bush labelling his opponent a “chaos candidate” for his “one-liners” and controversial policies. Bush commented on Trump’s comments on Isis in September, when he said that “Isis was not our fight”. Since then Trump has said he wants to “penetrate the […]

As unlikely as it is that Trump would complete his journey to presidency, David Cameron commented on how the ‘special’ relationship with the US would become far less special should Trump make it to the White House. This followed a question from Labour MP Tulip Siddiq, in which she denounced the Republican head for his recent […]

British comic David Mitchell has published a comment on Trump in the Guardian, and likened the presidential candidate to a man ‘relieving himself in the corner of a room at an otherwise polite dinner party’. “The dignified response it to avert your gaze,” he writes. “But it takes so much self-restraint. Our inner child wants to […]

Almost sounds too awful to be true, doesn’t it? Well, our favourite Republican candidate is apparently a fan of Britain’s own bigot, Katie Hopkins. In a recent tweet from the bigoted idealist, Trump said:   That’s right, folks, the head of the Republican party believes that Katie Hopkins is a voice for the people in […]