A week in mild amusement
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Something a little different this week. In honour of St. Patrick’s day occurring roughly four months ago (a tenuous link, I know) I’m going full poet. I’m going to attempt to express each of this week’s mildly amusing stories in the form of the greatest incarnation of literature: the limerick. An AABBA folk poem structure which I’ve placed a top-drawer example of below.
And yes I’m aware we all just made the same joke in our heads about AABBA. Here goes literally nothing.
Trump’s visit to Europe
There once was a country named Blighty
Visited by a Prez most unsightly
But Brits all filled the streets
He surely soiled his sheets
And balled-up his tiny fists tightly.
Donald Trump is an orange buffoon
A butterfly before the cocoon
He blocked off the Queen
He tweets really mean
But was scared out of London by a balloon.
Donnie met up with Vlad Putin
Revealing for just who he is rooting
But like the state of his hair
He doesn’t seem to care
Like republicans after a school shooting.
Morgan’s ‘interview’ with Trump
There once was a ‘journalist’ called Piers
The most hated man in Britain for years
Still he writes loads of pieces
But his nose smells like faeces
From burying his head in fascists’ rears.
The World Cup
A football team from France won the day
Of a tournament, they excellently did play
England sobbed out a moan
Football’s not coming home
Like so many, it’s been stopped at Calais.
Scottish tweets blasted England’s lack of a win
Turns out England fans have very thin skin
A light bit of patter
Turned into a diplomatic matter
They cried like a Croatian had kicked them in the shin.
Tesla Twitter tantrum
There was a billionaire named Elon Musk
Whose reputation became a bit of a husk
Tried to save those Thai teens
Turned up with his submarine
Which was about as useful as sun-cream at dusk.
Elon’s not your average CEO
Got mad when the experts told him no
He exploded on Twitter
Talking right out of his s***ter
Calling a hero a ‘pedo’.
I’d like to know what you think
I’m throwing in the kitchen sink
If you liked this experiment
Or are angry and want to vent
You can find last week’s news at this link.